We all experience many unwanted, unpleasant emotional states through our journey in life. Working with heavy emotional states, traumas, low moods, fear and anger is always a daunting task. It gets even worse if you do not have a bit of knowledge on how our human body-emotions-mind connection works.
To help you with this process of clearing your subconscious mind from negative emotional patterns - that has been holding you back in many ways - read the below suggestions. Familiarize yourself with the process. When a negative flow of feelings is getting a grasp on you, follow the procedure, to the best of your abilities.
Modern psychology has described the procedure as cognitive diffusion - when you are able to separate your awareness from the thoughts you think and feelings you feel.
 |
| Emotions are often described in terms of the Water element |
Sincerely, ask yourself: What exactly am I feeling? Sense - as precisely as possible - what you are feeling in your body. Are there any tensions, sensations? Where are they? Are you feeling as if surrounded by a heavy energy? Become more aware of what, how and where are those unpleasant, overwhelming sensations in or around your body. Sense those emotions as if they do not quite belong to you. There may be accompanying thoughts - notice them from a distance. Immerse yourself in observation
If you have practiced meditation you know what the state of presence is. But even if you didn’t, you may still be able to distance yourself just a bit from what is going on within you - emotionally and mentally. This is a crucial moment.
Trapped emotions, psychological traumas and other stress-related bundles of mental energy need and want to be - first - acknowledged, second - then and only then this trapped energy can be released. The trick is to not reinforce the feeling - but to let it dissipate naturally.
Where, when and how does it dissipate? If you employ a level of self-awareness necessary to watch the processes that are going on within you - with detachment - and this is so important - with a bit of detachment, at least - the whole bulk of heavy feelings and accompanying thoughts will dissolve in your field of awareness.
If you are not able to monitor from an internal distance what is going on within you, and instead you are identifying yourself with these emotions and thoughts by indulging your attention in them - it will devour you more and the problem will grow stronger inside you.
Perhaps you will choose to turn your attention away, to something different, and not wanting to recognize the heavy feelings; perhaps you would rather keep them buried deep in your psyche. By doing this you will feel more exhausted and disconnected. This traumatic state may eventually go away from your conscious mind but it will go back to the subconscious, waiting to show up again at the nearest opportunity. The precious mental energy will still be trapped.
Doing the opposite - recognizing and acknowledging that those feelings are in you, indeed, and - by detached observation and a proper amount of self-awareness - you can transform this energy.
However weird it may sound, there is a lot of therapies that are based on this notion. You may pay for them or you may pay your own attention to the process and - if necessary - educate yourself further or seek professional help if this might be over your self-control limit.
So, again - when you feel a stream of negative emotions and thoughts pouring in and growing, take a break from whatever you are doing.
Take a few very deep and slow breaths and breathe out slowly and consciously. Say something similar to yourself, such as: This is what is going right now in me and with me. I can clearly see it, I am aware of it. I am now aware of all these emotions that I feel. I certainly do not feel good right now but can be aware that those emotions, these state I am in - is trying to tell me something. There is something deep within me that is trying to communicate in this way, and I am listening. I can notice the thoughts that are trying to explain why those hard feelings are revealed. Perhaps they are right, perhaps they are wrong or overrated and overexaggerated - but I understand their importance. I will take a few more slow and deep breaths in and out. This helps me to have a bit more of my self-awareness and it will help me to loosen up this heavy feelings.
If you do not have any particular thoughts, it might be a good idea to go deeper to connect with your subconscious realm - by writing down any sensations that you may have. After focusing for a while, your mind can bring some thoughts to your awareness, a realization why those negative feelings appeared. You may want to ask yourself if there was a trigger that brought this state of body-emotions-mind to the surface. Was it internal or external? Was it something that has upset you? What was it and why your whole system reacts in this way?
Doing this will increase your awareness and self-knowledge. Say to yourself - with compassion, if possible - that this is what you feel, and that you got the message.
If the negative state is still strong, you may need to explore deeper. Perhaps there is a more hidden patterns in your psyche that you need to discover and become aware of? Have a little courage, patience and determination to bring it up. It is worth digging in - if you have time and will to do it. Do not judge anything, do not change anything, do no analyse - just let it be. This is another crucial point. Just let it be. You are your own therapist now - in part of your conscious mind. Stay calm and observe what is going on with curiosity.
If there are judging thoughts, write them down but try to not identify fully with them. Say to yourself that you are aware of these judging thoughts - whether towards yourself, others or life circumstances - and just let them be. Do not judge anything, just let it flow into your awareness. You are learning to become present in the here and now, and detached from too many entanglements that have not necessary been of your own making. This is a valuable lesson and experience. Self-awareness and a sense of control and trust in this process are the keys. 'Control' does not mean changing, avoiding, escaping those feelings - it means that you are not loosing yourself in those feelings while letting them play out in your conscious mind.
You will know whether this healing process is successfully done - you will feel a sense of relief, calm, increased sense of self-control, and self-empowerment. Perhaps not straight away, perhaps in the coming days you will notice a significant change in the way you feel and even in your character. You will feel a more healthy connection within your body-emotions-mind system, and the world around. You may rediscover yourself anew, you will feel naturally more self-confident and your performance levels in any activity will increase. You now have a tool in your mental hands that can truly change your life for the better. You can step onto a new path and feel the firm ground under your feet.
 |
| Finding a firm ground (Earth Element) and having clarity of mind (Air Element) |
Buddhism describes negative mental states that cloud the purity of the mind as 'kleshas'. They relate to disturbing and overwhelming emotions of anxiety, anger, fear, jealousy, depression, etc. In the Mahayana tradition, there are three main roots of all other kleshas, namely: ignorance, attachment, and aversion. Some other traditions also add pride and jealousy. They are seen as the causes of Samsara - a self-repeating process of unconscious existence that is rooted in suffering.
Ignorance (delusion) is a lack of understanding and discernment of the way the things really are.
Attachment (rapacity) a more or less subtle presence of greed and hunger for more.
Aversion (disdain) lack of respect to what we don't like.
Those undesirable states can be conquered by tranquillity meditation end eradicated by an insightful meditation where the true, peaceful nature of the mind is understood.
